New Years Eve

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

I have big plans for New Years Eve. I plan to let go of 2010 (and some leftover from 2009). I was thinking about making resolutions which is pointless as I generally break them within 5 minutes. 2010 was a hard year for me. There have been a lot of changes in my life in the past couple of years, some good, many not so good. I'm not a person who easily lets go - I brood and worry and wonder what I could have done differently.

So I decided I need a cleansing ritual. Now I have to admit that when the idea first popped into my head it felt weird. I thought I wasn't a person who is "into" rituals. As I thought about it I realized that I love birthdays and Christmas and holidays - all rituals, all ways to celebrate something. My cleansing ritual is going to be a way to celebrate letting go of a lot of stuff that I don't want to carry around anymore. Lots and lots and lots and lots and, well you get the idea, of emotional baggage and worries and fears that I'm tired of holding onto.

I haven't worked out all the details but I'm going to start by cleaning my apartment Friday morning and taking some stuff to Goodwill. I was looking online for ideas and found a suggestion to write the things you're letting go of on a piece of paper and burn them. I'm a bit worried I'll start a bonfire - there's a lot of stuff I need to let go of. But this feels like a good thing to me. Sad, because I'm letting go of people I loved but I'm also letting go of resentments and anger that is only hurting me. In moving to Sacramento I've made a new life for myself. It's been difficult and I imagine it will be in the future but it's my life and I need to give up some things that tied me to an old life.

So that's my plan for New Years Eve. And as I write this memories come creeping in and I wonder if I can really let go. I guess it's ok to cry while you burn the paper?

Musical Monday

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas Day!

A Question

One of the places I "like" on Facebook is called Owning Pink. It's the Facebook page of a website devoted to empowering women to claim, in the words of the founder, Dr. Lissa Rankin,the parts of themselves that are most true, most authentic, and most magnificent. Dr. Rankin is an ob/gyn and the site and her new book, What's Up Down There, provides answers to questions that quite often we don't really want to ask anyone!

None of that is really the point of this post. She posted a question on Facebook and I wanted to borrow it and I hate to do that without attribution. Since I was going to explain where I got the question I thought I'd go ahead and share the links to the Owning Pink website because I think it's pretty cool!

After that rather long explanation, here's the question: What kind of candy are you? I answered it in about one second and thought it was a great question so I thought I'd see if anyone else wants to answer.

I'm a Big Cherry Candy Bar. It's chocolate with peanuts wrapped around a cherry. I think this describes me quite well (also I like them...). I'm kind of chocolatey and a little crunchy sometimes but underneath it I'm very sweet! Ok kind of silly but share anyway - what kind of candy are you?

Some Christmas Music!

I'm feeling very Christmasy and peaceful tonight. I finished my beaded Christmas tree (but can't post a picture because I need batteries for my camera!), started another one and I'm making some pale cookies. One of the Christmas cookies I make are called Cherry Chocolate Kisses. They have maraschino cherries in them & you add red food coloring so they look Christmasy and then put chocolate kisses on top. I bought everything I needed to make them except, yep, the red food coloring. . . I didn't want to go to the store so now I have pale cookies w/kisses on top. It's ok though, they taste the same! And now my apartment smells like almond extract which makes me happy. For some reason, probably from making Christmas cookies for so many years, I associate the smell of almond extract with Christmas.

It's been a difficult couple of months for me but I feel good tonight. I feel in control of my life and peaceful and happy. It's going to be a good Christmas and a wonderful New Year. This seemed an appropriate song!

December Poet: Emily Dickinson, Pt 2

Goodness it's December 21st and I'm only on my second poetry post! This month has gone very fast it seems like. I thought I'd combine mysteries and Emily Dickinson for this post. There are two mystery books I've read that focus on her and I was sure if I searched I'd find more. Unfortunately I didn't, so this is a very short list. If anyone is aware of others please share them!

Quieter than Sleep by Joanne Dobson
Emily Dickinson is Dead by Jane Langton

Short poems again so I'm sharing three!

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant---
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise
As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind---

* * *

I felt a cleavage in my mind
As if my brain had split;
I tried to match it, seam by seam,
But could not make them fit.
The thought behind I strove to join
Unto the thought before,
But sequence ravelled out of reach
Like balls upon a floor.

* * *

Love is anterior to life,
Posterior to death,
Initial of creation, and
The exponent of breath.

Eclipse

Wow three posts in one day. I think it's a record! I went outside to see if I could see the lunar eclipse. I was afraid it'd be cloudy but right outside my door I had a perfect view of the moon as it was entering this phase:
The most noticeable part of this eclipse will come when the moon begins to enter the Earth's dark inner shadow (called the umbra). A small scallop of darkness will begin to appear on the moon's left edge at 6:33 UT (on Dec. 21) corresponding to 1:33 a.m. EST or 10:33 p.m. PST (on Dec. 20).

I took the picture below from my patio and you can see the little bite out of the corner of the moon. Pretty cool! I wanted to try and take more pictures but unfortunately my batteries ran out and I don't have any more. I'm going to wait a little bit and then go out again and just look for awhile. It's cold outside though!

11:40 pm update: It's cloudy now & I can't see anything. Oh well, I guess I'll go to bed.

My beaded tree

I had a lot of fun yesterday - I went to a class to learn how to make a beaded Christmas tree! If you like beading check out my stitching blog to see it. It's not perfect but I'm happy with it!

Musical Monday

Silent Sunday

I guess it's official

I really am old. We had a holiday party at work tonight and I was politely chatting with someone and she mentioned needing glasses to see print as she is getting older. I commiserated and said it's harder for me too. Based on past experience she should have said, "oh you aren't that old." She didn't. This woman is probably 10-12 years older than me and I really don't think I look my age. She should have said I wasn't old. But she didn't. I think that means I'm officially old. I'm feeling rather disheartened tonight. Ok, I know how old I am, maybe the people who said I look younger were just being polite but still. I DON'T WANT TO BE OLD! Most of the time I honestly don't feel like I'm 53. I think in my head I'm about 30. I guess I don't look it though. . .

I was looking for an image and found this book listed on Amazon.  I guess the Universe is telling me to get used to it.

Standing on a soapbox today

I tend to shy away from "taking a stand" on issues. I think life is complex and it's sometimes difficult for me to give an absolute yes or no to something. I have strong opinions about issues but I'm nearly always open to listening to a different point of view and seeing the value of what someone else is saying. That said (I like that phrase), there are at least three issues that I'm adamant about. I'm sure I've mentioned them on this blog in the past and suspect I'll mention them again.

One is same-sex marriage. I don't believe it should be voted on or debated - it should be a given. Of course you have the right to marry anyone you choose no matter what gender. That's it. No discussion. 

The second is keeping libraries open and free to the public. Due to economic problems many communities have had library services cut and in some cases lost them completely. Admittedly this is somewhat selfish of me as I can't imagine life without lots of libraries! Seriously I think all communities deserve library service. I believe in knowledge and education and it begins through reading. If you're poor and can't buy books where do you go? The library. I could go on and on about this but I should get to my third issue since that's what the video is about!

So, third issue. Spay and neuter your pets! I found this video at The Conscious Cat blog and it made me cry (the video not the blog!). Our society has created an out-of-control pet population and refuses to take responsibility for it. If you have an animal and you aren't a responsible breeder than get it spayed/neutered. I don't see any other side to this. What I do see is what you'll see in the video - cats who will be killed because they have no home. Yeah kittens and puppies are cute. Not so much when they're dead. The second video, called Shelter Humor, is funny but it's also sad. Unfortunately there are people like that.

Musical Monday

More pictures

I took a bunch of pictures today so thought I'd add them as an addition to Silent Sunday. Although they do come with an explanation so I guess it isn't silent. Oh well.

The other night I went to the State Capital to take pictures of the official Christmas Tree. They didn't come out great because I just had my iphone and it doesn't do so well in the dark. I went back tonight and took more and they're a little better but not what I was hoping for. At least you can see the tree though - it's really pretty! I also took some pictures of a street with a bunch of leaves, my cats and some decorations.

After I left the Capital I went down by the river to take some pictures of the Tower Bridge. I love the Tower Bridge in Sacramento. It's my second favorite view here. I got some ok pictures (I'm not a great photographer) and walked for awhile which was nice. Then I decided I was going to get mugged so I left. Well hopefully not mugged but I was a little nervous. There weren't a lot of people around and two teenage boys came up and asked me for money. I said I didn't have any and they said ok and walked off but they were looking at my purse and camera and it made me kind of nervous. I walk fairly often at night and despite stories my siblings could tell you about barring doors, I don't scare all that easily. Just something about them made me decide it was time to go. I figure it's better to trust my instincts in that kind of situation!

Here's a few of the pictures and if you'd like to see the rest you can go to my Picasa web album and look at them.

Silent Sunday

Reading Challenges

A couple of years ago I signed up for a reading challenge but didn't finish it. Not because I didn't want to read but I got sidetracked into reading other stuff. Anyway. . . I thought I'd try again for 2011 so I'm joining two reading challenges.

The first is called The 50 States Reading Challenge and the challenge is to read books set in each of the 50 states. I thought this sounded fun. Offhand I can think of a few to put on my list (re-reads count so that helps!) but it's going to require some thinking and research to come up with a book for each state. I think it'll be fun though! Update: I'm working on this list and I think it is going to take awhile! If anyone has suggestions please share them. Particularly if you are from a certain state! Um, except California - I have a huge list in mind to choose from!

The second challenge is called the Vintage Mystery Reading Challenge. It's to read mysteries written before 1960. There are different levels to join at depending on how many books you want to read. I joined the Take 'Em to Trial level which is to read 16+ books. This will be very easy to generate a list for. I love mysteries and there are a lot of pre-1960 mysteries I still haven't read.

Oh phooey. While I was doing this post and putting in the links I found another challenge that sounded cool. So I'll do three. . .

The third (and final) challenge is called TBR Pile Challenge.This challenge is to read 12 books from your to be read pile within 12 months. They have to have been on your shelf for at least one year. I'm embarrassed to admit how high my TBR pile is. Let's just say I can find 12 without a problem. Note: The list for this challenge is now posted under the icon in sidebar!

Ok, I have to go get busy on my lists! I'll be posting my lists soon and beginning in January will post reviews and updates. Pretty exciting isn't it!

I liked this!

December Poet: Emily Dickinson

Yeah I know that's just way too easy choosing Emily Dickinson. But it's December and I have a lot to do and lots of things to think about and my cats need attention and anyway she's one of my favorite poets!

It seems kind of pointless to share biographical info as most people know the basic stuff. Throughout the month I'm going to see what I can find that isn't as well-known. For this first post though I thought I'd share some sites that are good sources of information. 

Dickinson Electronic Archives
Poets.org page on Emily Dickinson
Emily Dickinson Museum
Emily Dickinson International Society

Since there are so many poems to choose from I thought I'd share two today. If you have a favorite please share it in a comment - I'd love to hear!


There is a pain -- so utter --
It swallows substance up --
Then covers the Abyss with Trance --
So Memory can step
Around -- across -- upon it --
As one within a Swoon --
Goes safely -- where an open eye --
Would drop Him -- Bone by Bone.

*    *    *    *    *    *

It's all I have to bring today –
This, and my heart beside –
This, and my heart, and all the fields –
And all the meadows wide –
Be sure you count – should I forget
Some one the sum could tell –
This, and my heart, and all the Bees
Which in the Clover dwell.

Another Library & a short history lesson!

I haven't been doing great on finishing my library visits and now it's December and I still have 10 left. I was thinking maybe I should try and get them all in by the end of the year but decided that would make it seem like a chore. So I'll go slow and get the list finished in 2011!

Anyway I did visit a new branch on Saturday - the North Sacramento Hagginwood branch. It's a small library which is wonderful because I can look at all the books available in the subjects I'm interested in. I found an interesting book called The American River. I'm interested in reading more about the American and Sacramento rivers as they are rather prominent here! I also found a cool quilting book called Quilt Sensations.

At a minimum when I go to the library I always check the Sacramento history section, beading and quilting, mysteries, poetry and of course, Tudor history. In the Tudor history section I found Edward VI: The Lost King of England by Chris Skidmore. Edward VI was the only, much sacrificed for (at least on the part of Katherine, Anne & ok fine, Jane) son of Henry VIII. He became King on Henry's death in 1547 but died in 1553 at age 15. The book is good so far and anything on Tudor history is, of course, interesting to me. The only bothersome thing so far (I'm only 67 pgs into the book) is that in the introduction the author says "Two different strands make up Edward's reign: the personality of this Tudor king who was the most gifted of all his siblings; . . . "  I humbly (or not so humbly) beg to differ. Elizabeth was, without a doubt, the most gifted of the three Tudor children. From that belief I will never be moved! That aside I like the book so far!

Here's a couple of pictures of the library and some nearby street art.

Musical Monday

Silent Sunday

A Pippin Story

Six years ago when Pippin came to live with me, he spent the first couple of nights sleeping curled up underneath my chin. He was scared and I guess it felt safe to him. I tell him this story - kind of like telling your kids about when they were born - and I know that he understands me. I know this because almost every time I tell him the story he'll try to sleep underneath my chin that night! Really, truly I am not making this up!

The last week or so my upper back and neck have been hurting. I think I pulled a muscle in all the driving I did last last weekend. Anyway it was getting better until I made the mistake of telling Pippin his story last night. The first picture is the less than 2 lb kitten who originally slept underneath my chin. The second is the 14+ lb cat who repeatedly attempted to sleep there last night. Which is why my neck hurts a lot this morning!

A quote for you

As you've probably noticed I change the quote on this blog weekly. I have one Word file that is 27 pages long full of quotes plus various other smaller files devoted to quotes on specific subjects or people. I like quotes! Anyway this one is somewhat longer so I thought I'd share it in a post. I found this on a blog called The Happiness Project. It's an interesting blog and worth taking a look at.

I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming. ~Goethe

November Poet: Kay Ryan, Pt 4

One last poem from Kay Ryan!

The Elephant in the Room

It isn't so much
a complete elephant
as an elephant
sense --perhaps
pillar legs supporting
a looming mass,
beyond which it's
mostly a guess.
In any case, we
manage with relative
ease. There are just
places in the room
that we bounce off
when we come up
against; not something
we feel we have to
announce.

There's no place like home

I'm home! I've spent the last couple of days traveling around visiting family and just got home a short time ago. I'm very glad to be home!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

November Poet: Kay Ryan, Pt 3

Well Carol wanted a cheerful poem this week and I did try! Actually I suppose this could be cheerful - what do you think?

Here's an interesting 2008 interview from the Charlie Rose show. It features Kay Ryan and James Billington, the Librarian of Congress. Ryan's poetry has been compared to Marianne Moore and Emily Dickinson.  She mentions in the interview that she was recently compared to Robinson Jeffers and she liked the comparison because of the violence in his poetry. She says that Jeffers focuses on raptor claws and she'd like to think there are some claws in her work. I would say there are claws in her work. There are claws in this poem. 

Sheep in Wolves Clothing

Of all the unpleasant
affectations of soi-distant
wolves, the most unpleasant
is their teeth: blunt ruminant
sheep stumps built up
to something no one could
really kill with. Decorative
in the worst sense. An offense
to economy and outright
blasphemy in the context
of true wolf philosophy,
which states very clearly
that every bluff must
promote good. Which means
you eat what you've fooled:
all of Little Red Riding,
from her shoes to her hood.

Kay Ryan

It's raining!

The wet, cold, gloomy view from my patio this morning!

Musical Monday

And now it's officially tattooed on my arm. . . 

And once again. . .

Why do I persist in doing what makes me feel bad and NOT doing what I know will make me feel good? Ah forget it, it was a rhetorical question. I haven't been walking much lately but I woke up early today and decided I'd go for a short walk. I ended up walking further than I'd planned because it felt so good being outside and walking. I know I'm going to feel better when I do it but I come up with excuses and sit around being lazy instead. Anyway here's a couple of pictures. I love this time of year. The trees are beautiful and piles of leaves are in the street and it's a more than a little cold outside right now. Things feel good today. Finally.

November Poet: Kay Ryan, Pt 2

Continuing on with the Poet of the Month, Kay Ryan.

Ryan's awards for poetry include (among many others) the Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize from The Poetry Foundation in 2004; a Guggenheim fellowship the same year; a National Endowment for the Arts fellowship; the Union League Poetry Prize in 2000; and an Ingram Merrill Foundation Award in 1995. One of her poems, How Birds Sing, is permanently installed at the Central Park Zoo in New York City.

From a New York Times article: You can’t help consuming Kay Ryan’s poems quickly, the way you are supposed to consume freshly made cocktails: while they are still smiling at you. But you immediately double back — what was that? — and their moral and intellectual bite blindsides you.

That's one of the things I enjoy about her poems. You read them and it may take a minute or a day or a week but all of a sudden the meaning sinks in and you realize how amazingly sly and witty she's been in saying it. I like that!

On a somewhat unrelated note I have to say that I'm quite ashamed of myself. I type about 95 wpm. Instead of typing in this very short poem, I found it online and cut/pasted. I think I've reached new heights of laziness.

This poem is from the book Niagara River.

Hide and Seek

It’s hard not
to jump out
instead of
waiting to be
found. It’s
hard to be
alone so long
and then hear
someone come
around. It’s
like some form
of skin’s developed
in the air
that, rather
than have torn,
you tear.

A tree and a basket

I took this picture of the tree from my patio. I was looking at the different color leaves but I didn't really think they'd show up well especially taking the picture at night. It came out pretty good though!

I love Christmasy, glitzy stuff and I love baskets. So when I saw this one on sale for 40% off, I had to buy it! I have no idea what I'm going to use it for but I'm quite pleased with it. 

Ok, that's all I've got for today. I was just so pleased with my tree picture and basket I had to share them!

Bead Journal Project!

Check out the new Facebook page for the Bead Journal Project!

Musical Monday

I like the Nina Simone version better but couldn't find it on YouTube. This isn't bad though!

Silent Sunday

More than anyone wants to know about me

I borrowed these from another blog called Life of a Middle-Aged Student. She had the patience to answer 250 questions but I gave up at 20!

1. What is the last thing you said out loud? Pippin, you're driving me crazy with that licking. (Pippin is my cat.)


2. Does time really heal all wounds? No but I think it makes them easier to live with.


3. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? Yeah. Sometimes I like to pretend that I don't know but 99% of the time I'm paying attention.


4. Three causes you believe in more than any other causes? Keeping libraries open no matter how bad the economy, same-sex marriage, spaying/neutering animals.


5. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? Elizabeth Tudor


6. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it every day? Anne of the Thousand Days


7. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? I've never saved anyone's life but I'd say that a couple of people have saved mine.


8. What is your idea of paradise? Uh duh - a library!


9. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? Um yeah - one or two deep dark ones.


10. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? More by Harry Connick Jr. - although I should say I really don't know how to dance!


11. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? Yeah . . . sigh.


12. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. If you could be beamed anywhere on earth anytime you wanted where would that place be? Again, duh - London! (by the way the duh's are only for people who know me well or have been reading my blog for awhile - they should know the answer!)


13. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? My great-grandfather may have killed his neighbor and left town in the middle of the night because of it. Which (leaving town) would be wise if you've killed someone.


14. Of the following, which word best describes you: bold, charming, dependable. While I'd like to say bold or charming, to be honest I have to say dependable.


15. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? Well my mother had that "talk" with me. I thought it sounded gross and she was making it up.


16. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love? You missed the answer to the romantic question? Living in the streets & subway tunnels of course!


17. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help? Little Women


18. Do you photograph well? Check out my pictures - no!


19. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now? Louise Gluck.


20. Would you consider yourself to be naive? Well I consider myself to be worldly and sophisticated. People who know me quite well consider me to be somewhat naive. . . what do they know though. I'm sticking with worldly & sophisticated.

BJP! BJP!

I've posted here before about the Bead Journal Project that I participate in but just wanted to remind everyone that registration for the 2011 BJP began November 8th and goes through December 8th. If you're interested you can click here for registration info. If you think you might be interested but haven't done bead embroidery before, check this video from my beading friend Lisa at Indigo's Beads. It's a great introduction!

I have to post this and try to encourage people to join because I'm a promotion angel for the 2011 project! Very cool and impressive isn't it? I get to do blog posts to encourage people to register. Well it may not sound exciting but I like it! Anyway here's one of my projects from last year. See how I've managed to sneak in both poetry and history. Pretty clever of me wasn't it!

This was based on the poem Whoso List To Hunt by Sir Thomas Wyatt and on the necklace Anne is wearing in this picture. The poem was written by Wyatt for Anne Boleyn. I did this project for May - Anne was crowned Queen of England May 29, 1553 and executed May 19, 1536. I am deeply enamored of British history and particularly the Tudor era. Anne Boleyn has always been my favorite of Henry's Queens.

Whoso List To Hunt
by Sir Thomas Wyatt

Whoso list to hunt, I know where is an hind,
But as for me, alas, I may no more.
The vain travail hath wearied me so sore,
I am of them that farthest cometh behind.
Yet may I by no means my wearied mind
Draw from the deer, but as she fleeth afore
Fainting I follow. I leave off therefore,
Since in a net I seek to hold the wind.
Who list her hunt, I put him out of doubt,
As well as I may spend his time in vain.
And graven with diamonds in letters plain
There is written, her fair neck round about:
Noli me tangere, for Caesar's I am,
And wild for to hold, though I seem tame.

November Poetry: Kay Ryan

So I was sitting here trying to decide what to post & I thought I'd post a poem. Then I came up with a very clever idea: I'll do a different poet each month and share their poems and information about them! Clever isn't it? Ok, maybe I need to get out more. Anyway I decided November would be Kay Ryan.

Kay Ryan is a California poet, born in San Jose and currently living in Marin County. In 2008 she became the 16th Poet Laureate Consultant in Poetry to the Library of Congress and held the post until May of this year. I like her poetry a lot. It's funny, serious and witty. She packs a lot into mostly short poems. They are easy to remember but often require multiple reading to get the point. This is one of my favorites. Mellifera (the most beautiful cat in the world) was sitting on my lap so I read it to her. I'm sorry to say she was unimpressed although it mentions cats.

A Cat/A Future

A cat can draw
the blinds
behind her eyes
whenever she
decides. Nothing
alters in the stare
itself but she's
not there. Likewise
a future can occlude:
still sitting there,
doing nothing rude.

Mall Decorations

I spent the evening wandering around Arden Fair mall. I don't really like malls but I had to have tires put on my car and I went to Sears which is in the mall. Since it took about 2-1/2 hrs I had plenty of time to look around! While I don't like malls I love Christmas decorations and they had plenty up already. It seems a little early but I enjoy looking at them and I doubt I'll go back to the mall before Christmas so I'm glad I got to see them! I liked the little elves in window in the last picture.

Silent Sunday

How far would you go?

I read an interesting post tonight called How far would you go to protect a friend or lover? It discusses a woman whose girlfriend killed seven men and she didn't turn her in. Should she have turned her in? When? After the first murder, the second, the seventh?

Would you protect a spouse, lover, child, sibling, parent? If only one, why not the other(s)? Sue Russell the author of the article asks: Have you ever stayed silent while a friend cheats on a spouse, or looked the other way when a friend drinks and drives, maybe with children in the car? How many secrets would you keep or lies would you tell? Where would you draw the line, and have you ever truly been tested?

I wrote a post about something similar a couple of years ago and after reading the article I went back and re-read it. I'm not an amoral person. For myself there are things I would never do. I wouldn't willingly kill someone in self-defense, I think I'd rather be killed. That's theoretical of course. In an actual situation I don't know what would happen. I do know that there are people I would kill to protect.

And, though it may make me a, I'm not sure what kind of person, there are a small handful of people I'd protect if they killed someone. After reading the article I realize I'd have to add a disclaimer to what I wrote two years ago. If one of these people came to me and said they'd accidentally killed someone and would I help protect them, yeah I would. That would be knowing it was accidental and that they weren't just flipping out and murdering people. Maybe that's a copout though.

I don't know. Really, really, really I'm a very nice person! I don't lie (ok I've lied upon occasion but I'm quite bad at it), cheat or steal. I've never murdered anyone except in my head. I'm nice to stray animals and people. Well I could go on and on. How many secrets would you keep? I've kept more than a few and still have a few. Did keeping them hurting anyone? Yeah I suppose so. And given a chance to make things right, I'd probably do the same thing again.

So. . . how about the rest of you? Where do you draw the line and have you ever truly been tested? Don't I ask nice questions!

25 things that make me happy

I borrowed this idea from another blog I read! I'll admit I didn't think I could come up with 25 things but it wasn't that hard. So what makes you happy?

1. Flowers
2. My cats
3. Reading
4. Working on my bead projects
5. Writing
6. Listening to music
7. Long drives just to drive
8. Being with my daughter
9. Hugging someone I like
10. Going for a walk
11. Blogging, Facebook, Twitter
12. Books
13. Being outside at night
14. Staying up until 2 or 3 am
15. Visiting Soledad Mission
16. Talking about British history
17. Candles
18. My iPhone 
19. Figuring out how to do something
20. Being with someone I'm really comfortable with so I don't have to talk if I don't feel like it but I'm not alone
21. Libraries
22. Finding a new book by an author I like when I wasn't looking for it
23. Going to the fabric store & touching all the fabric
24. Museums
25. Bookstores

Musical Monday

 

Silent Sunday

More Halloween decorated houses in my neighborhood!

Happy Halloween!

All Hallows

All Hallows
  
Even now this landscape is assembling.
The hills darken. The oxen
Sleep in their blue yoke,
The fields having been
Picked clean, the sheaves
Bound evenly and piled at the roadside
Among cinquefoil, as the toothed moon rises:

This is the barrenness
Of harvest or pestilence
And the wife leaning out the window
With her hand extended, as in payment,
And the seeds
Distinct, gold, calling
Come here
Come here, little one

And the soul creeps out of the tree.

Louise Gluck

Another Library

I'm making slow progress on my library list. I did go to a new one the other day - the Del Paso Heights branch. I have 11 more to go still. It's a small branch so it was easy to look through all the books. I ended up with a couple of mysteries, a book of poems and a decorative beading book. The beading book has instructions for making beaded lampshades. I think they look really neat and I'd love to make one. I'm afraid that my cats would be very fond of it though!

The first picture is, obviously, the library. The second is just leaves on the ground in the parking lot. I love all the leaves on the ground. I have a bowl of them in my kitchen that I've picked up when I walk and I also have a few on my desk at work.

Bead Journal Project

Registration for the 4th Bead Journal Project will begin on November 8th! The Bead Journal Project is a year long project where participants create a monthly journal page using a whichever techniques they chose so long as beading is included. This is the second year I've been involved and I love it. I am admittedly somewhat behind this year . . . that's ok though! It isn't about how fast you do your projects or keeping up with someone else or comparing your work to other beaders. It's about personal growth through what you are creating, sometimes about working out problems by dumping out a bunch of beads and starting to put them on fabric, sometimes about just plain fun.

I have a separate blog where my daughter and I post pictures of our work. It's called One More Stitch if you're interested. The title actually came from a t-shirt I saw for sale about cross-stitching. A woman is stitching in her pajama's and saying "just one more stitch." Our blog was originally started to post stitching stuff but now both of us are mainly beading. Anyway. . . back to the bjp!

I found the BJP in the first year it started through my wanderings around the Internet. I visited different blogs admiring the work beaders were doing and kept thinking it looked like fun. Prior to that the only beading I'd ever done was small Mill Hill ornament kits. I've been doing embroidery, quilting and sewing for as long as I can remember but never beading. Anyway, I sent an email to Robin Atkins, who is the originator of the project, and asked about joining. She explained that they'd probably be doing it a second year and I could sign-up to join then. I am not a joiner nor am I a person who writes emails to total strangers. But I was so fascinated by this idea that my desire to participate overcame my initial shyness. There's something about working with beads that I find soothing and creative. And fun! During the first year (second of the project but my first year) my daughter was admiring all the beading and decided to join this year. It's been a lot of fun seeing her projects and comparing ideas.

You don't have to have any experience or particular skills. It's pretty easy (at my age with a good lamp and magnifying glasses) to put a bead on a needle. And don't feel you have to be "creative." I didn't think I was creative enough to come up with anything original but I have and I've learned a lot in the process. If you have even the slightest interest, just a small thought that maybe it'd be fun, then JOIN!

Below is one of my projects from the first year I participated. I was doing a piece each month based on a poem. This one wasn't exactly a poem - it's from The Cat Who Walked By Himself by Rudyard Kipling:

He will kill mice, and he will be kind to babies when he is in the house, just as long as they do not pull his tail too hard. But when he has done that, and between times, and when the moon gets up and night comes, he is the Cat that walks by himself, and all places are alike to him. Then he goes out to the Wet Wild Woods or up the Wet Wild Trees or on the Wet Wild Roofs, waving his wild tail and walking by his wild lone.

How about a poem?

You Might Consider

how my long life of losing men
could create a new international sport.

Men lost in the desert, men missing
in action from doorways and all-night diners;

men making the most of fire
escapes, service stairs, the emergency aisle

of airplanes like United. Men
para-sailing after spaceship encounters.

I am accomplished in the world
of the see-you-later wave

as his pick-up truck disappears
traveling to the next espresso stand.

Something in the curve of my collar,
the blue of my blouse sets them running.

They know they are in the hands of a master.
But when the coffee’s on, the pumpernickel

toasted just right, I have to let them know;
I’m actually ready for them to go.

by Susan Rich

October 25, 1934

Today is my Dad's birthday. As you can probably figure from the post title, he's 76 years old. This is one of my favorite pictures, I was 1-1/2  and he was 24. There are many people I like, many I admire and would like to emulate, a few I trust and a few I respect. The people that fall into all those categories can be counted on one hand and my father would be the first one.

He's a person who does and says what he believes to be right and it makes no difference if you're a stranger, friend, boss or relative. He doesn't tailor his words to what he believes you want to hear. For better or worse, not a trait I inherited from him!

He's also incredibly intelligent. I know a lot of people probably think their father is a genius, but I'm not alone in thinking mine is. When he was in the army they gave intelligence tests and he scored higher than anyone else ever had. I found this quote once and saved it because it reminded me of him: He was a genius - that is to say, a man who does superlatively and without obvious effort something that most people cannot do by the uttermost exertion of their abilities. ~Robertson Davies

He does, without obvious effort, what most of us can't even imagine. He was a computer analyst before he retired. I don't remember his exact title but he wrote programs and fixed them. He worked for IBM when they first developed the SAGE computer, a gigantic thing that was less efficient than an iphone is now probably! He literally has forgotten more than most people know about computers.

Aside from being intellectually amazing, I think he's an incredibly tough person. I don't mean in a tough-guy manner (although he grew up in Oakland & he and his brothers were probably the 1940's gang to avoid). He survived raising four children, the death of a grandchild, the death of his wife of 43 years, the death of a partner of 10 years and all the stuff that goes with just living. Yet he's still hanging in there and still going out and dealing with life. I think that's pretty amazing.

He isn't perfect and I guarantee you it isn't easy being his daughter sometimes. Logical and rational are probably in the top two words you'd use to describe him. I don't know that they are even in the top 100 for me! But I'm proud to be his daughter and I hope there are a lot more birthdays left! The song below always makes me cry. My life has indeed been "a poor attempt to imitate the man."  I haven't come close but I think it's an effort worth continuing.

Silent Sunday

This is what it looks like outside today. I love it!