Do it your way

I read a post the other day on the Gaping Void blog that I really liked. I’m going to quote a long part of it here:
We do live in a society with norms about what we can and cannot share, what we can and cannot do, but as Einstein once said: “if the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” That’s what I want to do – I want to change the facts.

Your wants are beautiful, your truths are powerful. Maybe you want to sleep on a pier or share a fairytale kiss under every triumphal arch in the world. Maybe you dream of diving the wreckage of a galleon or quitting your job and starting your own company.

They’ll say you’re crazy. They’ll say, “I wish I could be as impulsive as you are,” and that you should grow up. Life isn’t like that – there are norms, you know. There are ways to do things. You don’t talk to people at the security line at the airport. You get through it as fast as possible, go to your gate, wait for them to board you, sit down and be quiet. You go to your job, bust your ass, go home, change, go to some social thing, entertain the same questions, go home, watch bad television and do it all over again. Polite, proper, efficient. That’s life, right? Then you get old and maybe play some golf, then you die.

Fuck no.

The only way to remember who you are is to refuse to let anyone or anything dictate what you want. I write to share my triumphs and defeats and to remind you that wanting something other than herd-like, soul-crushing monotony is not only natural, but necessary.

Since I read this I’ve been unable to get it out of my mind. I have this whole long list of stuff that I want to do and an even longer list of facts to explain why I can’t do most of it. I’m going to start changing the facts. I don’t want to get old and be polite and proper and play golf. I don’t want to watch television and do the same thing every day. I want to live my life. I want to talk to people and share and not run away because I’m afraid.

I think that moving to Sacramento was a start for me. I’ve made a few mistakes since. But you know what I realized? It doesn’t matter. I did a couple of things that probably made me look silly (oh fine, more than a couple). I got more than a little hurt a time or two. And I don’t really care. I wouldn’t change anything because these have been the best months of my life.

I want to stand up and yell at people, “don’t settle, don’t do what you think you’re supposed to. Do what you want, what you love, what makes you alive.” I know, better than many people, how difficult that can be and how silly it can sound sometimes. I also know, better than many people, how happy and free and alive you can feel if you heed the advice.

I’m 52 years old. I waited a long time to listen. You don’t have to wait that long if you’re young and if you’re old, well it still isn’t too late. It’s better to live the way you want for a week than never to have done it at all. There is no safety, no security for any of us. Life is uncertain, horribly sad and scary. It's also wonderful and joyous but only if you're paying attention and accepting what comes along with an open mind and heart.

There you have my philosophical rambling for the month!