For the past few months I've been feeling overwhelmed, emotional, tense, stressed, sick, upset, discomposed, disturbed - ok, you're probably getting the idea. Anyway all this emotion combined with some physical changes have led me to the conclusion that, finally! I'm approaching menopause. A few years ago if I'd thought that I would have been horror struck. Now all I can think is "hurry up!" I hesitated about posting this but figured with all the personal stuff I've posted I might as well go ahead. Besides I'm hoping writing about it and sharing will help!
I've always had difficulties with depression and mood swings but lately it's like having PMS quadrupled every day of the month. I stood in the grocery store and cried because I couldn't find what I was looking for. If anyone blinks at me wrong I cry. I could go on forever about the crying because that's what I seem to do a lot of. Between the days of tears are days where I'd really, seriously like to kill someone. Mostly no one in particular although I do have a list in case I get serious about it! Both normal PMS symptoms but as I said, quadrupled and every damn day.
All this would be fine because I could hope for an end. Then I read on various menopause info sites that perimenopause can last six years or more. This is not good news. I am 100% sure that I can't deal with this six months let alone six years. Hopefully the six years only applies if you're much younger than me when it starts? Please. I hope.
I'm a voracious reader and have been looking for some good books on menopause but haven't found anything that appeals to me. If anyone has any good suggestions I'd love to hear them. I generally deal with things by reading about them. I'm not sure reading will stop the crying but maybe there's hope. . . .
So that's my story and I actually feel a little better now. I was telling my daughter this weekend and I realized when I was talking to her that I felt better. When I considered writing this post my first thought was that it was too personal, silly to talk about and besides everyone would know I was old. Then I realized they all knew I was old anyway so what was I hiding! It certainly isn't silly and how can something that happens to all women be too personal to talk about?
I read that the average age for menopause is 51. I'm 53 so I guess that makes me a late starter. Not abnormal though (don't ask, it's a long, stupid story)! Hopefully the late start will make for a fast finish. If not, once the crying stops, I may be pulling out the hit list.
3 comments:
Well, I don't really know when I started mine because I had my uterus removed back in the late 80s. I had alot of that monster PMS symptoms and some hot flashes. Since I take Zoloft, I think the normal episode with the "change" might have been less for me. Do to breast cancer history and my own lumpectomy, I chose not to take hormone theropy. Bleed or Bitch, not sure which is worse. Vent all you want if it helps. O, yeah, I DID have those crying episodes too.
I can sympathize, but sorry, no advice.
Grin and Bear It? Sorry, that was bad.
xx, Carol
I pretty much feel the same way. I turned fifty this year and I was getting some strange moods and craying (out of character for me) and was like "What the heck is wrong with me?" I can only explain it as peri-menopause.
About a year ago, my doctor offered to perform a blood test to see if I were actually in menopause. I said "Sure, why not?" The test said "negative."
Then a few months later, found out that my insurance does not cover tests of that nature. Arrgghh! I should have known better.
So I guess I'll just have to guess and figure "it probably is menopause."
Good luck with yours. Two of my sisters used black cohosh, but I would read up on that first before starting it.
If you have a doctor, talk to them about it. I like the female doctors much better for this exact reason. Mine is wonderful.
Carol: Grin and bear it! Oh that is bad! But in a way you're right, there isn't a lot to do I guess. I tend to be a cryer anyway but this is just so much worse it's getting embarrassing. Ah well, venting does help!
Peruby: I had a blood test about 1-1/2 years ago and it was "inconclusive." I kind of think the perimenopause may have started then and it's just hitting hard now in combination with other things in my life and making it hard to deal with. I am going to see a doctor in October and I think I'll feel better just going. Definitely I want a female doctor too!
Thanks both of you. I knew I wasn't alone in symptoms but it's nice to hear from other women who've had similar experiences!
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