Friday, September 10, 2010

Homesick

How long do you have to live someplace before it's home and you aren't homesick anymore? I'll have been here a year in October and I thought by now I wouldn't feel homesick. I do though. A big part of me still wants to go home. But like the song says, it feels like "it ain't mine no more." Yet Sacramento doesn't feel like "mine" either. I guess it takes time to make your own home. Until I moved here I'd never lived alone and I keep thinking that everyone I love is someplace else so why am I here? Yet, despite everything, it still feels like I'm in the right place. I don't know - I guess it just takes time. I realized in writing this that if neither place feels like home to me that's why I feel so adrift and homeless! Ah well.



LA's fine, sunshine most of the time
The feeling is laid back
Palm trees grow and the rents are low
But you know I keep thinking about
Making my way back

Well, I'm New York City born and raised
But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores
LA's fine, but it ain't home
New York's home but it ain't mine no more

I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
I am, I cried
I am, said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king
And then became one
Well, except for the names and a few other changes
If you talk about me, the story's the same one

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried but it won't let me go
And I'm not a man who likes to swear
But I've never cared for the sound of being alone

2 comments:

Carol- Beads and Birds said...

This is part of the reason my daughter and grandsons live with us. She thought she would make a new start. Moved just 10 miles away to live in a lake cottage in Michigan. The drive is about 10 minutes from here. She was miserable. Even being that close it was still another state. She missed just being a jump away from where she grew up, the stores she liked and the friends nearby. The boys didn't do very well there either. They missed their school. They missed us.

I don't know your reasons for moving, but if you feel its where you should be, then you'll make it work.

robin michelle said...

Thanks Carol. I know it'll work (I hope, I think) it's just hard to remember sometimes.