I'm sure we've all wanted to insult someone in a memorable manner but it can be difficult to come up with something on the spot. Just to make your life a little easier, here are a few classic insults and put-downs that you can memorize and use as you deem appropriate.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. ~Abraham Lincoln
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. ~Winston Churchill
A senescent bimbo with a lust for home furnishings. ~Barbara Ehrenreich about Nancy Reagan
Faulkner: "[Hemingway] has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
Hemingway: "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. ~Mark Twain
Lady Astor: If you were my husband, I’d give you poison.
Winston Churchill.: If you were my wife, I’d drink it.
Member of Parliament: Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.
Benjamin Disraeli.: That depends, Sir, on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.
Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible. ~Margaret Mead
Fine words! I wonder where you stole them. ~Jonathan Swift
He never chooses an opinion; he just wears whatever happens to be in style. ~Leo Tolstoy
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. ~Dorothy Parker
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. ~Oscar Wilde
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. ~Macbeth
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