At least a year ago I started reading a blog called Castro Valley Boulevardier written by someone who lives in Castro Valley (you probably could have guessed that!). Anyway at the time I lived there also and put the blog into my reader where it still is. I was reading the latest entry that shows a picture of a street corner that's about 1-1/2 miles from where I used to live. All of a sudden I was attacked by a horrid sense of homesickness and sat and cried for half an hour. I was born in Castro Valley and lived there for the last 28 years and I felt like I just wanted to go home. It's not surprising though. Everyday for the last week or so I've been thinking that I wanted to go home and that I'd made a mistake in moving. I guess that's why a picture of a street corner reduced me to tears!
But the fact is I don't want to go home. I am home. And that's what I've been forgetting this past week but remembered after I finished crying. This is my home, it's where I belong and it feels right. Even though things aren't going exactly as I'd planned, ok, not even close to what I'd planned, I'm still glad that I'm here. I was driving around yesterday and got a little lost. I finally turned onto one street and realized that I knew where I was. It was a nice feeling to be able to visualize where I was in relation to my home and know that I wasn't lost after all, I'd just made a few wrong turns.
So maybe I've made a few wrong turns but I'm not lost and I know where home is. And I'm staying. Besides I don't think my cats would forgive me if I tried to subject them to another car trip!
2 comments:
Oh, that sounds so hard. I guess an overwhelming feeling of homesickness is acceptable once in a while. I hope they are few and far between for you and as time goes by you feel more at ease where you are now. Best of luck.
Thanks Peruby. I think a lot of things just kind of caught up with but I'm feeling better now. Hopefully once I get a little more settled it will be easier. Take care.
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