Musical Monday

Silent Sunday

One day, one week, one month. . .

"If you knew you had only one day, or one week, or one month to live, what life boat would you grab onto? What secret would you tell? What band would you see? What person would you declare your love to? What wish would you fulfill? What exotic locale would you fly to for coffee? What book would you write?"

This is a quote from a movie called One Week about a guy who finds out he has stage 4 cancer. I haven't seen the movie, I read about it in a post on the Psychology Today blog.

The post made me cry. I don't know what I'd do if I knew I only had a day, week or month to live. I do know that I can't think of one thing I'm doing now that I'd want to continue. I'm sad about that.

How about you? What would you do and are you doing any of it now?

Maps!

I love maps. I have a collection of mainly National Geographic maps that I've found over the years at used bookstores. I've yet to figure out what to do with them all but I'm not giving them up! It's fun to look at maps online also so I thought I'd share a few that I found yesterday. These are all from my favorite historical era - Tudor England!

Completely unrelated but I just found this out and it seemed important to share. Tomorrow is National GoTopless Day. This is only for women, men are supposed to wear bikini tops. So if you've been having the desire to go topless tomorrow is your chance! Personally I plan to leave my top on. Twenty years ago I might have been willing but not now!

Poetry Day

Stations
by Audre Lorde

Some women love
to wait
for life for a ring
in the June light for a touch
of the sun to heal them for another
woman’s voice to make them whole
to untie their hands
put words in their mouths
form to their passages sound
to their screams for some other sleeper
to remember their future their past.

Some women wait for the right
train in the wrong station
in the alleys of morning
for the noon to holler
the night come down.

Some women wait for love
to rise up
the child of their promise
to gather from earth
what they do not plant
to claim pain for labor
to become
the tip of an arrow to aim
at the heart of now
but it never stays.

Some women wait for visions
that do not return
where they were not welcome
naked
for invitations to places
they always wanted
to visit
to be repeated.

Some women wait for themselves
around the next corner
and call the empty spot peace
but the opposite of living
is only not living
and the stars do not care.

Some women wait for something
to change and nothing
does change
so they change
themselves.

She Will Come Tomorrow by Edwin Deakin





Musical Monday

Silent Sunday

LOTR!

Hopefully you all know what that stands for! Lord of the Rings! I'm going to my Dad's house tomorrow to watch the blu-ray extended version. It's 11-1/2 hours. I doubt that we'll get through all the movies tomorrow. Last time we ended up just watching the first two and then going back later for the third.

It should be a nice day though. He has a giant tv with a great picture so it's better than being at a theater. Lots more comfortable, better food and it's free!

LOTR is my favorite book and my second favorite movie(s). I've seen the movies, I don't know, maybe 10 times. I've read the book probably 20 times. My brother and sister-in-law will be there also. My brother is as big a fan as I am but he has a better memory (only because he's younger). Anyway he tends to remember lines better than I do but for an old person I do pretty well. Here's a few of my favorite lines from the movies:

Aragorn: Are you frightened?
Frodo: Yes.
Aragorn: Not nearly frightened enough. I know what hunts you.

 ****
Aragorn: Gentlemen, we do not stop 'til nightfall.
Pippin: What about breakfast?
Aragorn: You've already had it.
Pippin: We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?

 ****
Aragorn: If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword...

***  
Frodo Baggins: We are Hobbits of the Shire. Frodo Baggins is my name and this is Samwise Gamgee. 
Faramir: Your bodyguard? 
Samwise Gamgee: His gardener.

***
And last but not least, my favorite clip from the movie. I tried to embed this but all the versions I found on YouTube have embedding disabled so if you want to listen you'll have to click on the quote below and go to YouTube!

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. The day may come when the courage of men fails. When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of woe and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day. This day we fight. 

This day we fight.

One Thing Everyday That Scares Me

I finished a book last night called Franklin and Eleanor: An Extraordinary Marriage by Hazel Rowley. I think that Eleanor Roosevelt was an amazing person and reading this just reinforced that. If you are at all interested in either of them I'd recommend reading the book.

I started thinking last night about one of the quotes I like from Eleanor Roosevelt:  Do one thing everyday that scares you. I saw a book called My Year with Eleanor by Noelle Hancock. Apparently the author took this advice for a year. I haven't read the book but it sounds like she did things like skydiving. She was considerably younger than I am.

Since I'm so old I've decided to take the advice for only a month and not jump out of any airplanes. Beginning today and for the next 30 days I'm going to do one thing everyday that scares me. Does writing that sentence count? Ok, probably not.

So today's thing that scares me that I'm going to do is not have a drink tonight. Or two for that matter. I've never been much of a drinker but the last ten months - not so coincidentally since the beginning of my on again-off again relationship with the snake - I've been drinking more than I need to. And unfortunately even more in the last few weeks. It's kind of scary to think about not doing it tonight because then I have to think and maybe cry a little and then maybe get on with my life. That's more than a little scary.

I'll probably share most of my scary things - I might as well I guess. This one was a little hard to share! Anyway wish me luck as I start this month of scaring myself!

I was going to add a picture of a vampire because they scare me but the pictures I found were just too awful. You'll have to imagine a scary picture at the end of this post!

How about some quotes?

I like quotes. They make me think which is usually a good thing. So here's a few for you and hopefully one or two will strike you enough to remember it!

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~ Anatole France

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
~F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

When he shall die
Take him and cut him out in little stars
And he will make the face of heav’n so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

You owe it to us all to get on with what you’re good at. ~W. H. Auden

The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking. ~John Kenneth Galbraith

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. ~Winston Churchill

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.
~ Anna Quindlen

Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
~Eleanor Roosevelt

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds.
~William Shakespeare

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
~P. J. O'Rourke

Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away all the same, knowing she has wings.
~Victor Hugo

But never have I been a blue, calm sea. I have always been a storm.
~Stevie Nicks, "Storms

Do one thing everyday that scares you. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

There are days when solitude is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall.
~Colette

A Poem for Today

I found this poem the other day and really liked it so I thought I'd share. It's a long one but worth reading! While reading this I was thinking that it's good advice that I never told my daughter. It guess that's ok since somehow she knew it without being told.

 forty-five thoughts for my daughter and my virtual daughters

i always believed if i had blond hair, pixie face
big breasts
everything would be all right
not realizing that culturally idolized beauty
is not only foolproof
but potentially dangerous

if you believe in your own unconventional beauty
when you are young
you will accomplish twice as much and suffer half so

turn off lightbulbs and light a candle

walk don’t drive

plant a tree

wear sunscreen

dancing is an antidepressant

kindness is the new status symbol

every day please try to eat something green
and something orange
that grow out of the ground

tell me how mad you are
that your father and i parted
i will always listen
though i can’t ever take away the pain

expectations are for what you yourself create

they rarely work when applied to others

turn off the television

tv is a depressant

yoga is an antidepressant

don’t feel guilty about wanting pretty things

they would not be so alluring
if you weren’t supposed to want them
just don’t value them over compassion

use your words even when you are a grown-up
and people no longer think it is entirely acceptable
when you say, that hurt my feelings

if you can digest chocolate eat it sometimes
same goes for ice cream
(i don’t really need to tell you those things do i?)

do your homework because it is part of the game but

don’t spend too much time worrying about grades

fall in love with someone kind who loves your body
and your mind

if you have a dream that won’t let you go, that
tickles your solar plexus, heed it

turn dark feelings into paintings or poetry
or dancing

music is a kind of food

if you are sad talk to a happy woman who loves you
it will always help

move your body when you are sad or angry

avoid the following:
genetically modified ingredients
parabens
sodium lauryl sulfate
mercury in certain fish
neurotic thoughts about food
(is that a contradiction?)

love your curls though they tangle
your pale skin though it can burn in the sun
your nose though it is broader than some
your sturdy legs and feet

forget barbie she does not possess imagination

remember you are a botticelli angel

the planet we live on is perfection

love her like a goddess

love yourself as her daughter

there is a planet full of different kinds of beauty

the idea that only one type of woman is beautiful
is blasphemy

of everything i brought to the world in these
forty-five years
you and your brother are by far the most astounding

because of this i will always love your father

matter never vanishes, only changes

remember that when someone you love dies

your round head on my breast when you were born
is the memory
i will keep with me when i leave this body

when i am gone i will still be near you

this is how i know: when you were born
it was not a meeting
but a reunion

Francesca Lia Block

Cloud 9

I watched an interesting movie last night. Cloud 9 is about Inge, a 67-year-old woman who has been married to Werner for 30 years. She meets Karl, who is 76 and falls in love with him. The guilt of the affair is hard for her and she finally confesses to Karl. I’m not going to give away what happens but I will say that I was disappointed in the ending.

It’s a German movie with subtitles but even without the subtitles I think you could follow the plot line. Aside from the ages of the trio the other unusual thing about the movie is that it contains a lot of nudity. Not unusual in movies, but older actors nude and having sex isn’t something we see often.

I thought it was well done.  It’s nice to see older people (I hasten to add they are much older than me!) portrayed as enjoying sex and finding each other’s bodies attractive.  It’s interesting also that Inge clearly loved her husband. She wasn’t out looking for an affair, she was settled in her marriage but she fell in love. The portrayal of two older people falling in love is nice. Generally we just see 20 to 30-year-old beautiful people. You can fall in love at any age and it’s nice to see that portrayed in a movie.

The other thing I thought interesting was the conflict of Inge loving her husband but loving Karl also. What she felt for Karl eclipsed her love for her husband  Is it a sad or joyful thing to realize that the love you’ve felt for someone wasn’t enough? Finding the person you belong with and being with them even though it hurts someone else takes a willingness to put yourself first which isn’t always easy.

Musical Monday

I was trying to decide whether to stick with the Musical Monday idea but since I haven't decided yet, I'll go ahead and post one!

Solar Lunch

Well I survived the lunch and it went well! We served about 50 people solar cooked lasagna, salad and solar cooked brownies. Fortunately it wasn't a really hot day and the park has some great trees for shade. I was pretty tired afterwards though! It was fun and the volunteer clean-up crew was appreciative and hopefully we got a few people interested in solar cooking. Here's a few pictures of the event!

Morning Glories

These are growing through the fence in the parking lot of my apartment.

Random Update

I've been away from this blog for quite awhile for various reasons. One has to do with the snake song I've posted about before. Maybe this time the lesson will stick. . . Anyway, I think I was getting a little bored with blogging. Right now I'm feeling ready to start again but I'm not sure what I want to say. It felt like life was getting pretty boring and I had little to say before. So is my life still boring?

Well sort of. Somewhat less interesting than it was three weeks ago, but calmer and more hopeful. Definitely a good thing! Work is um, interesting. Things are somewhat in a holding pattern until after this weekend when I will say more, hopefully positive stuff. 

Saturday I'm going to a solar cooked lunch. Actually I'll be working at it. The organization I work for is providing a solar cooked lunch for volunteers who clean at a local park. 8 am Saturday will find me loading lasagna and brownies into my car for the lunch. I'll try and take some pictures to post. It's kind of cool to see the cookers all set out.

That's about all for now. I'm leaving shortly to drive to Stockton to pick up my niece and take her to the airport. Her flight leaves at 12:30 am. I have no idea why she booked a flight at such a horrid hour. Probably cheap.

Here's a cool site that I found if you like poetry & pictures!

A poem for today

The Breather
by Billy Collins 

Just as in the horror movies
when someone discovers that the phone calls
are coming from inside the house

so too, I realized
that our tender overlapping
has been taking place only inside me.

All that sweetness, the love and desire—
it’s just been me dialing myself
then following the ringing to another room

to find no one on the line,
well, sometimes a little breathing
but more often than not, nothing.

To think that all this time—
which would include the boat rides,
the airport embraces, and all the drinks—

it’s been only me and the two telephones,
the one on the wall in the kitchen
and the extension in the darkened guest room upstairs.