No Sacrifice

I spent Easter at my sister's house and a conversation we had started me thinking. My nephew is 13, an age not noted for kindness to one's siblings and we were telling him he should be nice to his sisters. He wanted to know why and someone said jokingly that maybe he'd need a kidney one day. He scoffed at the thought that he'd give or receive one from his sisters and informed his mother and I that we wouldn't do it either. My sister and I both replied that of course we would. I realized that it wouldn't occur to me to question that one of my siblings would give me a kidney if circumstances warranted it. Certainly I would give them one without hesitation.

I wonder if that's true for the majority of siblings? If you have siblings would you give them a kidney? Would you have to think about it? Maybe an even harder question, would you ask? I'm fairly close to both my sisters and my brother but does that make a difference? I'm just curious what other people think about this.

Now it's possible my other sister and brother may read this and think I'm delusional to believe this. I would be surprised though. And despite his scoffing, I suspect that one day my nephew will feel the same way about his sisters.

I'm the oldest - the cute one at the top in the picture! I think this was taken at or near Easter in 1963.

Musical Monday

If you're feeling sleepy turn the volume up and listen to this. It should wake you up. I first heard this music on a Remington Steele episode. If you click on the link it goes to a page where you can watch the entire episode. Or you can come visit me and watch all of them. I have the entire series! I rather like Pierce Brosnan. Notice how I'm mentioning his name? Hopefully when he searches for online mentions he'll find my blog and figure he should come visit me. Probably not too likely huh? Oh well. I should mention that I think he's the best looking man I've ever seen. Think that'll get him? Ok, don't tell Pierce but actually I think Cary Grant is just a teeny bit more handsome but since he's dead. . . .

Silent Sunday

Happy Easter! 

Keeping track

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm doing the napowrimo challenge to write a poem every day for the month of April. A lot of people doing this are posting the poems to their blogs but I'm not ready to do that. I did want to keep track on my blog though so I made a little box on the side where I'll put a hash mark for everyday I've written a poem. (It's the box that says napowrimo status in case you wondered!) You'll notice there are 3 marks today and the date is April 3rd. I'm on schedule so far!

Do it your way

I read a post the other day on the Gaping Void blog that I really liked. I’m going to quote a long part of it here:
We do live in a society with norms about what we can and cannot share, what we can and cannot do, but as Einstein once said: “if the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.” That’s what I want to do – I want to change the facts.

Your wants are beautiful, your truths are powerful. Maybe you want to sleep on a pier or share a fairytale kiss under every triumphal arch in the world. Maybe you dream of diving the wreckage of a galleon or quitting your job and starting your own company.

They’ll say you’re crazy. They’ll say, “I wish I could be as impulsive as you are,” and that you should grow up. Life isn’t like that – there are norms, you know. There are ways to do things. You don’t talk to people at the security line at the airport. You get through it as fast as possible, go to your gate, wait for them to board you, sit down and be quiet. You go to your job, bust your ass, go home, change, go to some social thing, entertain the same questions, go home, watch bad television and do it all over again. Polite, proper, efficient. That’s life, right? Then you get old and maybe play some golf, then you die.

Fuck no.

The only way to remember who you are is to refuse to let anyone or anything dictate what you want. I write to share my triumphs and defeats and to remind you that wanting something other than herd-like, soul-crushing monotony is not only natural, but necessary.

Since I read this I’ve been unable to get it out of my mind. I have this whole long list of stuff that I want to do and an even longer list of facts to explain why I can’t do most of it. I’m going to start changing the facts. I don’t want to get old and be polite and proper and play golf. I don’t want to watch television and do the same thing every day. I want to live my life. I want to talk to people and share and not run away because I’m afraid.

I think that moving to Sacramento was a start for me. I’ve made a few mistakes since. But you know what I realized? It doesn’t matter. I did a couple of things that probably made me look silly (oh fine, more than a couple). I got more than a little hurt a time or two. And I don’t really care. I wouldn’t change anything because these have been the best months of my life.

I want to stand up and yell at people, “don’t settle, don’t do what you think you’re supposed to. Do what you want, what you love, what makes you alive.” I know, better than many people, how difficult that can be and how silly it can sound sometimes. I also know, better than many people, how happy and free and alive you can feel if you heed the advice.

I’m 52 years old. I waited a long time to listen. You don’t have to wait that long if you’re young and if you’re old, well it still isn’t too late. It’s better to live the way you want for a week than never to have done it at all. There is no safety, no security for any of us. Life is uncertain, horribly sad and scary. It's also wonderful and joyous but only if you're paying attention and accepting what comes along with an open mind and heart.

There you have my philosophical rambling for the month!

10 Books

I read this article the other day about the 10 books that have most influenced you. It took me about 10 minutes to come up with a list. I love reading other people's lists but they all seem to sound more intellectual than mine. . . oh well. Anyway here's my list and I'd love it if other people would share their list! These are not in any particular order

Lord of the Rings - J.R.R. Tolkien - One of my favorite books. I've read it probably 20 times. I can quote portions of it. I'm not sure how to explain how it influenced me but I'd definitely be a different person if I hadn't read this book. I doubt a better one.

Little Women - Louisa May Alcott - I read this so many times when I was a teenager which probably explains a lot. I was always torn between wanting to be Meg or Jo.

The Symposium - Plato - I first read this in a philosophy class many, many years ago. The professor in his introduction said that the best things don't come easily so beware of falling in love overnight. Advice I should have heeded. . .

Harriet the Spy - Louise Fitzhugh - Another one I read & reread when I was young. I'm pretty sure it contributed to my overly secretive nature!

Cities in Flight - James Blish - I'm not much of a sci-fi fan but I love this story. I don't think I can explain how it influenced me, it's just one my favorite books. Definitely one I'd take to a desert island. I've read 4-5 times and will read it again.

The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron - If I hadn't read this I doubt I'd have been able to share my writing, do a bead project or anything else creative. It helped me believe in and trust myself.

Perry Mason Books - Erle Stanley Gardner - Ok, this is kind of a cheat because it's way, way more than one book! I read all the Perry Mason books when I was young. I'm an avid mystery lover and attribute that to reading these.

The Four Loves - C.S. Lewis - I'm a C.S. Lewis fan and have read most everything he wrote. This has always been my favorite.

A Crown for Elizabeth - Mary M. Luke - This was one of the first, if not the first, book that I read about Elizabeth Tudor. I was about 13 or 14 I think and it started a lifelong interest in Elizabeth and Tudor England.

Cannery Row - John Steinbeck - I like Steinbeck, he's one of my favorite writers. And I love the opening to this story: "Cannery Row in Monterey in California is a poem, a stink, a grating noise, a quality of light, a tone, a habit, a nostalgia, a dream."

National Poetry Month

April is National Poetry Month so I'm going to be sharing quite a few poems throughout the month. This first one is by Robert Frost.


Reluctance

Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question "Whither?"

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?